God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
