Pappa wants mamma naked
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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