I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
