It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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