at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
