Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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