chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
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Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
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last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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