is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
