I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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