Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Randomize
