i always forget guys have bellybuttons
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
