Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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