Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
