That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
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I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
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VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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