I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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