oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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