We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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