sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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