Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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