Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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