Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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