i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
