Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
