She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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