Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
