Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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