Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
