Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
