Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
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