I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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