vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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