Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
