So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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