Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes

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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(021): View more from

Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.

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(352): View more from Florida

I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5

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(404): View more from Georgia

Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.

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(970): View more from Colorado

A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.

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