There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk