dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
