Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.