I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.