All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
