I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
