am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
