I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
