that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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