I wanna passion pit in your ass
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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