I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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