she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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