So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
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