Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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