oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize