you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
