Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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