Pappa wants mamma naked
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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