Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize