the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
