did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
