Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
