i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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