Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
