ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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