Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
