Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
