he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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