Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
