I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
