Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
