hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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