if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
