butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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