i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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